The unseen side of leadership

On International Women’s Day, we celebrate the strength, courage, and achievements of women around the world. We honor the trailblazers who have broken barriers and the quiet changemakers who lead in ways that often go unnoticed.

And the foundation of that kind of leadership is inner peace.

This is why we are leading a training with 40 Afghan women called “The Inner Peace Journey for Afghan Female Leaders“. Because leadership doesn’t start with controlling others—it starts with mastering ourselves.

You might wonder—why focus on inner peace in the face of such immense external challenges? Why turn inward when there is so much work to be done in the world?

Because without inner peace, we are constantly pulled by the noise inside—the doubts, the past wounds, the fear of what others think, the endless worries about the future. But when we cultivate inner peace, we create space. Space to feel and think clearly. Space to listen deeply. Space to lead with wisdom rather than reaction.

And when we quiet that inner noise, we don’t just hear others more clearly—we hear ourselves. We tap into an inner knowing, a deep intuition that tells us what is right, even when no one is watching. And that, at its core, is integrity—one of the most vital qualities of leadership.

The weight of leadership

In our training, the Afghan women we work with have told us: No one knows the value of integrity better than us.

They have been sold out by their politicians and so-called leaders. They have been completely and utterly abandoned. Afghanistan was once a thriving, educated nation before the world turned away, leaving them to face the trauma of war, oppression, and loss. That collective trauma is something they carry, something they live with every day.

And this is also a strength. The trauma they have endured is not just a wound—it is also shaping their character, their resilience, and their ability to become the future leaders of Afghanistan.

And make no mistake—we are here to train leaders, not followers.

Leaders create leaders.

Cults create followers.

True leadership is not about control or dominance. It is about lifting others up, empowering them to step into their own power, to find their own voice. And that is exactly why we do this work—to support them in becoming the kind of leaders who uplift others, who create movements, not hierarchies.

That is also why we have taken action in response to the mass deportation of Afghan people currently in Pakistan. With the deadline set for March 31, deportation would mean almost certain death for these women and women’s rights defenders. We cannot stand by and let that happen. We launched a petition urging the Dutch government to take responsibility for Afghan women abandoned in crisis, because silence is complicity, and real leadership means standing up when it matters most.

But let me be honest—doing this kind of work is tough.

Standing with women in Afghanistan, amplifying their voices, and fighting for their freedom is filled with both joy and sorrow. There is the deep honor of walking alongside courageous women who refuse to be silenced. And then there is the constant, unspoken weight: the knowledge that at any moment, one of them may disappear.

Every day, I brace myself for a message that may never come. Every day, I hold space for the possibility that a voice I cherish will be swallowed by the mauling jaws of the Taliban regime—without a trace, leaving behind a silence that screams.

This is what it means to work on the frontline. It is raw. It is relentless. It is filled with love and pain in equal measure.

And here is another truth—leadership isn’t always glamorous.

When leadership breaks your heart

There’s a certain illusion that leadership is about standing on a stage, inspiring people with powerful words. But in reality, leadership is often about bearing the unbearable. It is about making impossible choices.

Right now, my team and I are working in response to the mass deportation of Afghan people from Pakistan, scheduled for March 31. Many of these women are at risk of persecution or worse if forced to return to Taliban-controlled Afghanistan. We are trying to secure evacuation pathways, and yet, every day, I have to say no to people who ask to be included.

I have had to turn down desperate pleas for help. I have had to tell women who have given everything to stand for what is right that there is no space left, that they cannot come. There are only so many seats on an evacuation list. Only so many resources. And I have to say no to women who are afraid for their lives. Women who fought for their voices to be heard. Women who should be safe—but are not.

And that is a burden I carry.

It feels, at times, like Schindler’s List, like I am being forced into a role I never wanted: to decide who gets a chance at survival and who doesn’t. I lay awake at night with the weight of playing god with human lives, to know that the decision I make could mean life or death.

But here’s what I have come to understand: I don’t know everything. I will never see the full picture. All I can do is act with the knowledge I have now, to the best of my ability, with the deepest integrity I can muster. And in those moments of impossible choices, I surrender.

I surrender to the truth that I am not all-knowing. I surrender to the reality that I cannot save everyone. And I surrender to the possibility that in the greater scheme of things—one I may never fully comprehend—good may still come from those who are not included in this effort.

The heart of leadership

Leadership is not just about action—it is about presence. It is about standing firm in the face of unbearable sorrow. It is about holding space for grief, disappointment, and injustice, and yet still showing up, day after day, to do what must be done.

It is about listening, even when it is painful. It is about recognizing that true power does not come from control but from the ability to lift others up. And it is about leading with integrity, even when no one is watching.

At its core, leadership is about owning our impact. It is about recognizing that every action—no matter how small—creates ripples. That how we show up in the world, the energy we carry, the words we speak, and even the thoughts we hold, shape the environment around us. This is why inner peace is not a luxury—it is a necessity. Because when we cultivate inner peace, we don’t just make better decisions—we become the kind of leaders who can navigate uncertainty, loss, and complexity with grace.

And when we lead from that place, we don’t just change policies or systems.

We change lives.

We change the world.

Because real leadership means standing up when it matters most, even when it hurts.

Even when it breaks us.

Even when no one sees.

If we want peace, we must first be that peace

If you want to save the world, go home and love your family.
Mother Theresa

If we want peace in the world, we must first be that peace. Inner peace is not just personal—it is a force that radiates outward, shaping communities, shaping nations.

And the women I had the honor to speak with on International Women’s Day—the future leaders of Afghanistan—have the strength, the integrity, and the wisdom to create that change.

The question is, will the world stand beside them?

Will we listen deeply enough to hear their voices?

And will we choose, even in the face of impossible choices, to act from love rather than fear?