“I want to be part of a winning team, but my colleagues, they don’t get it…..do they? Or could it be me?!!”
Do you share the desire to be part of a winning team? However, do you also tend to point outwards, finding fault with other team members or blaming yourself for it (if I were more apt at making myself heard, etc.).
Now, how would it be to look at it from a different perspective?
What prompted us to reflect on winning teams today is the selection process of executive board candidates for a company that we are supporting.
The main insight from this process is that most board members are only subliminally aware of the deeper motivations of their colleagues on the board. There is a limited awareness at a deeper level of what makes people tick, and why they behave in a particular way. And whether it is the individual that is showing up, or it is one of our saboteurs aka inner critics at play.
Often, we feel subconsciously attracted to a certain personality. However, what is it that actually attracts us? Is it the wholesome aspect? Is it the resourcefulness or the creativity in that person? Or is it a particular characteristic that we are familiar with? Something that for instance we recognize from our childhood or former relationship partners. We can subconsciously be drawn to a personality, despite the fact that it might not be the winning combination, but actually one where we sabotage each other.
As a consequence, this might lead to selecting a candidate, because you recognize something of yourself in that person. Perhaps some behavioral traits are recruited several times. Instead of selecting somebody who has complementing skills, competencies or strengths. Hence when we are aware of how we are coming together as individuals in the team, it helps us understand how these dynamic shapes the quality of the decision-making processes.
Another aspect is allowing yourself to show up vulnerably and say: “These are my limitations. And these are my strengths. And I know that these are your strengths, and these are your limitations.” From this vantage point the team can form the better decisions and figure out how it can go about making this endeavor a success for everyone involved.
And note that there is no value judgment. So everything goes. We are who we are based on our experiences and the life’s journey. And perhaps when you began working together, you were not aware of the different ingredients in the “team” recipe to make the most delicious meal.
It’s never too late to gain better insight in what really moves us and others. That allows to us to leave blame outside the board room and focus on what needs doing instead of getting caught up in our limitations.
In a nutshell: what we see in others is a reflection of ourselves.
We would love to hear your reflections on our 3 minutes about winning teams 😉
This blog is based on the Heartwork newsletter, 20th of November 2022. Would you like to read more inspiring content?