How do you react when you are struggling to finish your ‘to do’ list and run out of time?
Have you been bumped off a flight or been missing from the passenger list altogether when checking in for your flight – after overcoming the initial flight-shame when booking the trip in the first place 😜?
What do you do when you discover that the return labels are missing, when you have just carried 4 big boxes to the service point for them to be returned to the furniture store while wrestling with a big dog on the leash?
These experiences tested me during the last week, and they turned out to be some great opportunities to practice self-awareness.
Whenever I managed to be more aware of the impact of my energy on others and maintained a constructive composure, exercised patience and calm, stayed focused and made the occasional quick witty remark to make light of the situation, the results were without exception as follows:
- representatives went the extra mile to find solutions
- they got other more experienced colleagues to check what they were doing, whether they were missing something or needed to do something different
- they make telephone calls to head offices
Whereas previously, I would get stressed and irritable. I might raise my voice to the airline representatives at the check-in desk or phone the airliner to share my discontent in no uncertain terms. Once, I invaded the plane and sought the help from the purser when the airliner was going to leave us behind at the airport of our connecting flight with a five-month-old baby on our arm (the flight was overbooked). I might get angry at the employee at the service point and complain about the level of incompetence of the shop that sold me the lamps. I might phone the customer service department of the shop to give them an ear full.
So what helped me the past weeks?
Coming back to what is important to me.
I value integrity, trust and love. And the keen awareness of them allowed me to come back to myself and ask: what truly matters in this situation? If I would follow my irritation and anger and let that energy loose on others, would I live my values?
Knowing what I am good at.
I am strategic, can arrange things efficiently, and have a knack for winning people over. All of those strengths helped to navigate these stressful situations with more ease and grace than previously.
Being aware of what my pitfalls are.
I can be a perfectionist. And I can have high expectations of myself and others. If I let go of those expectations and the need for things to be perfect, I can feel good about myself and others, when things are not going smoothly.
How relevant is self-awareness in the work context?
The former VP of Google Claire Hughes Johnson was looking for self-awareness as the number 1 skill at job interviews. Her reasoning was that when someone is highly self-aware, they’re more motivated to learn because they’re honest about what they need to work on. They also relate better to their colleagues and managers. Plus, it’s a rare trait: Research shows that although 95% of people think they’re self-aware, only 10% to 15% actually are.
This blog is based on the Heartwork newsletter, 10th of March 2023. Would you like to read more inspiring content?